Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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