it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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