weddingsv make me drug and hornr
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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