Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
