Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
