To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Oh god it's open bar.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
