Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
operation harelip BJ is a go
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
