Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
