Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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