I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
