something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He has the fingertips of a God
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