Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
