the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
