Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
