mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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