My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
