isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
