Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
