p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
