and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
