Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
