He disabled his match.com account in front of me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
