how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm at about main and main street
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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