Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's just like the Real World with babies
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
