He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
