I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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