last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
