Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
