white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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