Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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