yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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