its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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