A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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