You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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