if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
