Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
