Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
