what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
