we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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