Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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