so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
