Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
