did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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