I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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