We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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