His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
