Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
