I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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