Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
