If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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